Beer Quotes


1 “I think getting drunk is the key to flying comfortably.” – Amanda Peet

2 “A little bit of beer is divine medicine.” –Paracelsus, Greek physician

3 Don’t worry, BEER happy!

4 “Trust me: You can dance — Alcohol.” — Unknown

5 Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life’s problems. – Homer Simpson

6 Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. – Arnold Schwarzenegger

7 Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer! — Martin Luther

8 Whoever invented beer is a wise man – Plato.

9 “Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” – Jack Nicholson

10 “Life is too short to drink cheap beer.” – Anon

11 Next to music beer was best. — Carson McCullers

12 “I’m a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don’t get it. It smells like a girl who didn’t shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.” – Mads Mikkelsen

13 “A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience – except that it is soluble in alcohol.” – Thomas Blackburn

14 Love is ALE we need.

15 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” – Stephen Wright

16 Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer. – Henry Lawson

17 I’m an old-fashioned guy… I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something. – Johnny Depp

18 Give my people plenty of beer, good beer, and cheap beer, and you will have no revolution among them. – Queen Victoria

19 I would kill everyone in the room just for one drop of just a drop of quality beer – Homer Simpson.

20 “You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.” – Frank Zappa

21 “Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” – Dave Barry

22 I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. – Abe Lincoln

23 “Important people are much more interesting when they are drunk and seem much more like human beings. “ – Marilyn Monroe, My Story

24 “All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” – Homer Simpson

25 I give into beer pressure.

26 “I followed my heart & It led me to ALCOHOL.” — Unknown

27 There is nothing in the world like the first taste of beer. – John Steinbeck

28 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. – Kinky Friedman

29 Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.— Wilhelm II

30 Since everybody has to believe in something, I believe I’ll get another drink – W.C. Fields.

31 “In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.” – Tina Fey – Comedian and writer

32 “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” Oscar Wilde

33 Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health. — Thomas Jefferson, US president & Francophile

34 “It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth. “ – George Burns

35 “Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemmingway

36 It’s beer o’clock somewhere!

37 “A man’s true character comes out when he’s drunk.” – Charlie Chaplin

38 Well, I never met a beer I didn’t drink. And down it goes. – Norm Peterson, 


39 Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

40 Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.— George Carlin

41 An intelligent man is sometimes forced to drink in order to spend time with fools – Earnest Hemingway. 

42 “I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.” – Sid Vicious – Punk Rocker

43 “What care I how time advances, I am drinking ale today.” –  Edgar Allan Poe

44 “stay with the beer. beer is continuous blood. a continuous lover”. — Charles Bukowski, poet, novelist & enemy of conventional punctuation

45 “It’s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he’s in love, drunk, or running for office. “ – Shirley MacLaine

46 “Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” – Winston Churchill

47 I am silently judging your beer selection!

48 “Step Aside COFFEE This is a Job for ALCOHOL” — Unknown

49 It takes beer to make a thirst worthwhile. – German saying

50 They who drink beer will think beer. – Washington Irving

51 A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.— Henny Youngman

52 God made years and dough, and loves fermentation just as he loves vegetation – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

53 Thoughts on the matter: “Most people hate the taste of beer—to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.” – Winston Churchhill – British Prime Minister

54 “Good people drink good beer.” – Hunter S Thompson

55 We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old. — Martin Luther, Protestant reformer & another dead guy

56 “I’m only here for the beer.” – Ind Coope Brewery

57 “I said no to alcohol, but it just doesn’t listen.” — Unknown

58 Do you know what rhymes with Friday? Beer.

59 “I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been over served.” ― George Gobel

60 Beer needs baseball, and baseball needs beer—it has always been thus. -Peter Richmond

61 I definitely feel closer to the feminine side of the human being than I do the male – or the American idea of what a male is supposed to be. Just watch a beer commercial and you’ll see what I mean. – Kurt Cobain

62 You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are. – Adolphus Busch

63 A quart of ale is enough meal for a King – Tufail Mehraj.

64 Thoughts on the matter: “There is no such thing as a bad beer. It’s that some taste better than others.” – Bill Carter – Writer, documentary maker

65 “I work until beer o’clock.” Stephen King

66 Beer’s intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it. — Ray Bradbury, novelist & creepy visionary

67 “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” – Founders Brewing, Breakfast Stout

68 “Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.”

69 I tried running. Gave it up. I kept spilling my beer.

70 “Always buy a bigger bottle than you think You’ll need. Better to be safe than sober.” — Unknown

71 Beer will get you through time of no money better than money will get you through times of no beer. – Freddie Freak

72 It feels like I can wrap up the day with a glass of beer. – Hyun Bin

73 I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. — Oscar Levant

74 A non-drinker is a weak person, who succumbs to the who yields to the lure of denying himself pleasure.

75 “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin – Inventor, Diplomat, Publisher and Founding Father

76 “I drink because I work, I work so I can drink.” — Unknown

77 I’m gaining weight the right way: I’m drinking beer. — Johnny Damon, former pro ballplayer & traitor

78 “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.” – Dan Castellaneta

79 “Beer is a wholesome liquor…it abounds with nourishment” – Dr. Benjamin Rush

80 Life is BREW-tiful!

81 “Alcohol does not make you fat, it makes you lean: against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.” — Unknown

82 Give a man a beer, waste an hour. Teach a man to brew, and waste a lifetime! – Bill Owen

83 Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer! – Louis Untermeyer

84 Women are like beer, they look and smell good, and you would step over your mother just to get one – Homer Simpson.

85 “stay with the beer. beer is continuous blood. a continuous lover.” – Charles Bukowski – Author, drinker

86 “ I am not addicted to beer… It’s addicted to me.” Cyanide & Happiness

87 A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. — Queen Elizabeth I

88 “To me ‘Drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it.” — Unknown

89 “Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” -Bruce Carlton

90 “Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink.” -Whitstran Brewery sign

91 The best beer in the world is the open bottle in your hand.

92 “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” — Unknown

93 Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is another beer. – Clementine Paddleford

94 In heaven there is no beer. That’s why we drink ours here.— Frank Yankovic

95 Apparently beer contains the hormones of a woman, once you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut up – Tufail Mehraj.

96 “A man who lies about beer makes enemies.” – Stephen King – Author

97 “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” – Jack Handey

98 “Women should put a picture of their missing husbands on beer cans.” – Steven Wright

99 “Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.” -Harold Rudolph

100 Pizza alone won’t fill the emptiness inside you, you’ll also need a beer!

101 “War and drink are the two things man is never too poor to buy.”- William Faulkner

102 Englishmen are like their own beer: Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom, the middle excellent. – Voltaire

103 Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same. – Hugh Hood

104 “Alcohol has been a social lubricant for thousands of years. What do you think, you’re going to sit here tonight and reinvent the wheel?” – Roger Swanson, Roger Dodger

105 “Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.” – David Rains Wallace

106 I only drink beer on days that end with “Y”

107 “Drink today, and drown all sorrow; you shall perhaps not do tomorrow.” -John Fletcher

108 I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. – Joe E. Lewis

109 Money can’t buy happiness—but it can buy beer. — Gary Reilly

110 “Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone.” – Doug Coughlin, Cocktail

111 “Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.” – Thornton Melon, Back To School

112 “God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?” -Restroom in The Irish Times, Washington DC

113 I like my water with barley and hops!

114 “I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.” – Brendan Behan

115 Beer is the center of everything. Everything revolves around beer. When you drink beer, everything revolves. Therefore beer is the center of everything. – University of Waterloo Engineers

116 Beer … a high and mighty liquor. — Julius Caesar

117 “I want to sit under a linden tree with nothing more important to worry about but the temperature of the beer. If there is anything more important.” – Sam Dodsworth, Dodsworth

118 “I drink to make other people interesting.” -George Jean Nathan

119 Drink beer like it’s your day job!

120 “Don’t cry over spilled milk…it could have been beer!” — Unknown

121 Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. – David Moulton

122 “He that drinks fast, pays slow.” — Benjamin Franklin

123 “The only way Ralph would remember our anniversary is if there was a beer named June 2nd.” – Agnes, Wandavision

124 “From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.” – St. Arnulf of Metz

125 “If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” -Deep Thought, Jack Handy

126 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. When life’s a bitch, beer is a must!

127 “Let’s have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.” — Unknown

128 The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart

129 “I have often regretted what I have eaten, but never what I have drunk.”- Otto von Bismarck

130 “It was a natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer”- Ernest Hemingway

131 Beer is not the answer. Beer is the question. “Yes” is the answer!

132 “Beer doesn’t have many vitamins. That’s why you need to drink lots of it.” — Unknown

133 You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. – Dean Martin

134 Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.— Frederick the Great

135 “A drunk tongue is an honest one in my opinion. “ – Adele

136 “Let us drink for the replenishment of our strength, not for our sorrow” -Cicero

137 “Act single, see double, drink triple.” — Unknown

138 Great beer bellies are made, not born. – Unknown

139 There cannot be good living where there is not good drinking.— Benjamin Franklin

140 “Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity.” – Sammy Davis, Jr.

141 “Reality is an illusion caused by a lack of good beer.”

142 “A party without alcohol is just a meeting.” — Unknown

143 When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. – Henny Youngman

144 Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.— Rita Rudner

145 “A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.” – Samuel Johnson

146 “There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better.” – Stephen Morris

147 “Save the earth, it’s the only planet with beer.” — Unknown

148 It’s a fair wind that blew men to ale. – Washington Irving

149 Let no man thirst for good beer. – Samuel Adams

150 “May you always have love in your heart and beer in your belly.” — Unknown

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